Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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