so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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