your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
