guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
