can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
