I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
