put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
