You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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