Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I smell like Dick and happiness
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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