There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize