So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
