I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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