dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
