i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
