thus making me awesome and them whores
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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