i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
