69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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