Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize