You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
