i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
