oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
