Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
