question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
