I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
