I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
