You work out of a Hotel?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Boobs speak an international language.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
