so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
