You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
