why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
