you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
