Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
