Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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