A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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