Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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