cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
