I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
