OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Even my vagina gasped.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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