Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
