You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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