Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
