i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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