it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
