I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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