He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
