I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
