if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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