p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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