and you said cock pushups were impossible
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize