Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
