: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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