went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Who wears a wallet chain?!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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