M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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