HIV tests are more positive than that guy
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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