playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
