I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
