so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Did you just see the Batmobile???
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
BRING THE BAGELS
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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