Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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