I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
