NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Randomize
