If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
