shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize