Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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