It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
