New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
