turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
