what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
