I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I believe in your delicious
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
