my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
